Panda is a no-show at AT&T Park as Red Sox, Giants fans unite

When the Major League Baseball schedule came out this year, this was the night – June 7 – that Giants and Red Sox fans were to unite for a common cause at AT&T Park.

Just call it Kung Fu Pandafuss. Pablo Sandoval was going to the object of their ire.

Orange and black-clad home fans and red-and-blue fans of the enemy were going to stand together as one and – when Pablo was introduced – they were going to boo in unison. Giants fans were going to boo the Panda for leaving San Francisco and dissing the Giants on the way out and Red Sox fans were going to boo him for, well, not even getting close to producing Panda-like numbers in Boston where Sam Malone and the guys down at Cheers expect more beer for their buck. To them, Pablo is as trustworthy as Gary from Gary’s Olde Towne Tavern.

Of course, Pablo wasn’t here. He is in Florida rehabbing from season-ending right shoulder surgery. He was a no-show at AT&T Park. Of course, cynical Red Sox fans would say he’s been a no-show at Fenway Park ever since he signed a fat five-year, $95 million contract and got fatter.

In 129 career games with the Red Sox, Panda has only 36 extra base hits in 476 at bats. His Boston batting average is .242 – 52 points less than his career batting average with the Giants – and there are kids in the whack-a-mole gopher at the arcade who have a better slugging percentage (.361) than him with a bat in their hands.

The Red Sox look foolish for spending that much money for such little production and so many bellyaches. The Giants look foolish as well as they reportedly offered the Panda as much if not more to have him stay in San Francisco. The difference now is the Red Sox have buyer’s remorse worse than the students enrolled at Trump University.

Perhaps the Panda will come back healthy next season, lighter and more motivated to prove critics wrong. He’s owed roughly $57 million on his contract, but he’s not yet turned 30 and the Red Sox could always use him as a replacement at Designated Hitter for the retired David Ortiz.

Or Pablo could continue on the Panda Expressway and eat his way out of the game and into prime time as The Biggest Loser.

As it turns out, Red Sox and Giants fans weren’t in much of a booing mood tonight. The Bosox have been in or around first place for weeks and the Giants are so enamored with their team that when former much-hated L.A. Dodger manager Tommy Lasorda was introduced on the field prior to the game there was nary a peep.

In fact, the loudest cheers were for Big Papi. The Giants honored Ortiz before the game by giving him a San Francisco cable car bell. Had Pablo been back in the town, the Giants may have given him a cow bell.