Thursday, September 8, 2011

NFL -- Never Felt Longer -- offseason and preseason finally gives away to games that really matter

The National Football League season starts tonight!!!!!!!!!

Hallelujah!!! Finally. I’ve never wanted a season to begin so bad because the NFL offseason has made me so sick.

I mean the NFL analysts on TV, the talking heads with big hair and motor mouths, have been analyzing – no, overanalyzing – teams and players and coaches and draft picks and free agents and fantasy football values and what ifs ad nauseum for the past seven months without anyone playing a single game or taking a single snap that meant something.

I mean last week the lead story on the primetime ESPN SportsCenter on back-to-back nights was a preseason NFL exhibition game that doesn’t count in the standings. They were giving far more attention and coverage to meaningless exhibition games dominated by the bench players destined for special teams than baseball teams actually wrestling for the playoffs.

Why? Is ESPN trying to one-up the NFL Network? That’s my theory.

It’s absolutely ridiculous. You’ve got college football coming apart at the seams because of greedy presidents and athletic directors posturing for power conferences and ESPN is fretting about who is going to be the back-up quarterback in Kansas City?!

Enough already! Are you ready for some football? I’m ready for some football that matters. On the field and not in fantasy leagues.

I’m sorry I’m in a bad mood. I haven’t yet recovered from seeing the University of Maryland’s new football uniforms last week.

I was blindsided.

They made me forget about the wild Baylor-TCU game, Kellen Moore and Boise State, Oregon’s national championship hopes ending and lightning striking Notre Dame’s usual preseason hype.

Whose idea was it to re-design Maryland’s football uniforms? Worst idea since New Coke.

When I saw them, I didn’t think about Terrapins.
Pokemon? The Crash Dummies? Where’s Waldo? Rival gangs from the medieval times? That’s what came to my mind.

Then I asked my 13-year-old son what he thought of Maryland’s new uniforms. He liked them.

“They’re sick,” he said.

That’s a good sick as opposed to the bad sick. The difference between NCAA football and NFL football.


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